How I'd make "The Next Iron Chef" cooler

"The Next Iron Chef" is a show on the Food Network that is searching for the ubiquitous 43rd American Iron Chef. If you remember them seminal Japanese version then you'll remember they only had 4, but the Iron Chef Italian never won and wasn't included with the rest. Why America needs so many, I'll never know, BUT I do know how to make the search show infinitely better.


Rivals my ass!

First allow me to introduce you to the suck-fest that is the current format: Iron Chef hopefuls are presented with a challenge, they attempt challenge, whoever wins said challenge gets some perk for the elimination challenge, they compete in elimination challenge, present food to the judges, judges judge then kick one chef back into obscurity. This works well and makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

What could make it better? Direct competition! Skip that first, useless challenge and let the judges at them. Then the judges pick the two worst and they face off in Kitchen Stadium.

Liking it so far? If so, good! If not, bail now cause I doubt anything I have to say from here on out will bring you back.

Here's the kicker: In the judges challenge in the current format they occasionally have to work with weird ingredients (like the OG JDM series did ALL THE TIME!). What I'm proposing is they work with weird (and/or alive cause nothing is better than watching nervous folk have to kill a fish flopping around a cutting board)ingredients in the elimination challenge! Used to cooking with chicken, fish, pork and beef? Well get used to working with insanely rare and impossibly expensive sea urchin! Winner gets immunity from the next week's elimination challenge until there are too few contestants for immunity to work out.

Genius, I know and thank you for recognizing my brilliance.